Well I have finally returned to the UK after having the most amazing year of my life.
I feel so so fortunate that I have had so many wonderful experiences this year, met so many wonderful people, laughed and loved, prayed and deeply thought.
I have twisted and stretched on my yoga mat, smoked wacky backy crossed legged at the foothills of the Himalaya's, swam in the Ganges, eaten the spiciest food and never got sick. learn't to love again and allowed someone to love me.
I worked in a rock bar, danced around the poles. learn't a few chords on the ukulele and caught nits off the kitchen staff.
Made love in the ocean and soaked up the sun, ran on the beach and learnt to stand on my head. I laughed till I wet myself and cried tears that had been stored in my heart for years.
I was bitten by a spider between the cheeks of my ass and was taken to a beautiful hotel by a beautiful man, were we swam in the pool and laughed in the sauna.
I felt God in my soul like never before and danced in the monsoon rain.
I wore bindis and saris and got groped in a silk shop. I drank gallons of sweet chai and watched bodies burning in Varanasi.
I fell in love with a blond on a beautiful island, we drank G and T's in our hammocks and kissed under the stars. I baked bread in my undies and made dhal and chappati's.
I watched endless beautiful sunsets with beautiful wonderful friends.
It truly was the best year of my life!!!!!
There has been so many wonderful moments this last year and I am so glad that my friend Emma told me to write this blog, I looked through some of it today and I laughed so much at some of the things I have done and seen and I know how fortunate I am to have had such an incredible journey and I'm so chuffed that so many of you have wanted to hear about it and it has been a joy to share it with you.
When I left England last January it is safe to say I was a mess. I boarded my flight drunk and completely off my tits. I had been out for days previously partying and getting wasted.
I was not happy for many months before I left, so many things had happened in 2011, horrible things and I was just drinking myself to death. It sounds exaggerated but as I look back now I can see that I really was in a very dark and dangerous place.
Going to India saved my life. You may think that that sounds over the top but I know how I was, how I felt and I am so grateful that I left England and everything that was happening in my life and I was given such a wonderful opportunity to look at my life and to work out what I wanted and to learn how to live in happiness.
I spent my last few days in India in the city of Mumbai. I was dead excited about visiting Mumbai and I wasn't disappointed. I arrived there on Christmas eve, I had travelled by train 15 hours from Goa. It was a beautiful journey. I boarded the train at 4.30am and watched the sunrise over the rice fields. It was the most glorious sunrise and the coconut palms looked so beautiful, just black silhouettes against the early morning sky.
I was gutted really that I had to say goodbye to India. India for me is the most special place, it is for me like heaven on earth.
I know some people think it is a dirty, busy, polluted place and it is in some parts but there is something magical about India, it is so rich in love and spirit, it gives me a feeling inside that I just haven't felt before in any other country.
A friend of mine said that INDIA stands for I'LL NEVER DO IT AGAIN!!!!
which is hilarious but to me that is so not true. I know I will be back packing across India for the rest of my days. I love it.
I arrived in Mumbai about 5pm and shared a taxi into Colaba with an English man I had met on the train and his 2 young daughters. It turned out that they were from Brighton, they lived just a few minutes walk from were I lived in the lanes.
Chatting away to them on the train was great, his daughters were so beautiful and all of the Indian people on the train just couldn't help but stare at them with their bright blue eyes and their long blond hair, they looked like angels.
Dave was running a charity in the Mumbai slums, he and his daughters lived there for a few weeks every year. He raises money in the UK and donates it to the families that live in the slums to improve their very basic living conditions . His daughters were obviously very proud of him, they were telling me over our sweet tea how their Daddy helped all the poor people of India.
The taxi dropped me off right behind the Taj Mahal Palace Hotel. I was stopping at the very humble Carlton Hotel. My room was nicer than I thought it would be and the sheets were clean so I felt very lucky. I un-packed, showered and then went for a little walk.
The Gateway Of India was only a 2 minute walk away, right in-front of the Taj Palace. It looked so beautiful all lit up in golden lights, it was dark but there were lots of people walking around, it was nice to walk along the sea front mingling with the other happy tourists and Indian families.
I wanted to find an Internet cafe so I could let everyone know I had arrived safely to Mumbai, the receptionist from The Carlton, Rama had told me that there was one just a couple of streets away so I headed in that direction. I noticed that a very tall skinny Indian man was behind me so I stopped walking and stepped in side a shop, but when I came back out he was still there watching me from the other side of the road. I then started walking and then he started following me again. I was a little scared, the horrific gang rape that had happened in Delhi a few days before had been all over the news and I was a little on edge. I stopped again and he stopped and as I started walking again he again followed behind.
I saw some young Indian's, girls and boys sat on mopeds at the side of the road, they were wearing uniforms, they looked like students. I went straight over to them and told them I was being followed, the boys bless them jumped up straight away and ran after the man that I pointed out to them but he was gone from sight. We were right outside the Taj Palace and one of the boys went over to the armed soldiers that guard the Taj Palace since the bombings and massacre that occurred there some years ago, to tell them what had happened.
They were all very kind and one of the soldiers even offered to escort me to and from the Internet shop, but the thought of being chaperoned through the streets of Mumbai with a soldier with his machine gun strapped to his chest was a bit too much so I said good night and went back to the safety of my room.
Christmas Day was one of the happiest I have ever had. You see I love my family very, very much but for some reason when you put us all in one room or house or even country at the same time some twat is bound to throw a wobbly and start an argument about something, so I have spent most of my Christmas's at the other side of the world from them all.
I decided to go along to the Krishna Temple, Chowpatty, Mumbai. It was a lovely day.
I sat through one of the lectures crossed legged on the floor with the Indian woman (I was the only western woman there) while the men sat on the opposite side of the temple hall. The speaker was humorous and I was glad it was in English.
We then joined in Ararti and were given beautiful fresh flowers, I placed mine in my book to press and keep. It was such a beautiful place and I just wondered around the temple taking photos and enjoying the peace.
I had gone to to India still wondering what religion I would follow but I returned knowing in my heart that the answer had been there for some time I just had to make those first brave steps.
I think the only way you can know what path is right for you, is how it makes you feel in your heart and standing there in the Krishna Temple and watching the devotees floating around in their saffron and peach robes and listening to the lectures and chanting I felt complete joy. I felt like I had come home, like I belonged and everything made sense.
A friend of mine Chris who is himself a Krishna devotee gave me a book "The Journey Home" as a gift before I left for India. It is an amazing book, it is an autobiography of an American swami. Well the Temple in Mumbai is the place where the author Swami Radanath resides, that is why I wanted to go there because the book inspired me so much. Unfortunately Radanath Swami was overseas but the visit was no less amazing.
I thought back to my life only a year before in England how I had woken up on Christmas morning still drunk and deeply depressed and how my life at that time was so full of hurt and pain and now here I was standing in the temple grounds surrounded by peace and love and people who were devoted to God. I felt so happy and I was sober and healthier than I had ever been. It was the best Christmas present ever to feel that peace.
I know you are probably thinking that OMG we are going to see Jacqueline galloping up and down the high street with her robes and her tambourine and you may think that is crazy but I have lived so many different lives, in so many different countries and cultures and with so many different men and I have found now what I was always looking for and I know that a spiritual life is the only life for me.
Leaving behind the alcohol and partying is not easy and now and again I get drawn into it and my friends have arranged a welcome home party for me and I know there will be alcohol involved but I know now what is important to me and I realised in India that Brighton is the place were I want to settle. I have so many wonderful spiritual friends there and the Krishna temple is right there by the sea and there are so many like minded people that want to break away from the materialistic way of life. I'm not saying the transition will be all plain sailing but I have lived a very wild existence and I'm ready for some peace.
Of course I miss India terribly but I will always travel to India and next year I want to do my Yoga teacher training there, but for the first time in my life I know where I want to be, I know what I want and the kind of relationship I deserve and I know I have to cut some ties with some people that can no longer be part of my new life and that is hard, but if you want to change your life for the better there is no point only changing your playground you have to change your playmates.
I had tears in my eyes as I boarded my flight from Mumbai to England but I also was happier than I had ever been in my life. I was at the end of the most amazing year of my life and of course that was sad but knowing what I want and where I want to live and what spiritual path I want to follow, having all of that knowledge keeps me strong.
I have been back now just a couple of weeks and things have been really good. I have spent time with my family who I love so much especially my niece who I missed more than I could have ever imagined...seeing her again was the best thing about coming home. I am so looking forward to getting to know my nephew who was only 6 months when I left.
I start work In February and hopefully will be moved down to Brighton within the next couple of months. I'm looking forward to summer by the sea and building a new happy life for myself.
Thank you all so much for reading my blog over the last year, I have enjoyed writing it so much and I hope you have had a giggle or two along the way.
I wish you all, what we all deserve, health, happiness and peace of heart
Happy New Year
Jacqueline x x x
Hare Krishna
I feel so so fortunate that I have had so many wonderful experiences this year, met so many wonderful people, laughed and loved, prayed and deeply thought.
I have twisted and stretched on my yoga mat, smoked wacky backy crossed legged at the foothills of the Himalaya's, swam in the Ganges, eaten the spiciest food and never got sick. learn't to love again and allowed someone to love me.
I worked in a rock bar, danced around the poles. learn't a few chords on the ukulele and caught nits off the kitchen staff.
Made love in the ocean and soaked up the sun, ran on the beach and learnt to stand on my head. I laughed till I wet myself and cried tears that had been stored in my heart for years.
I was bitten by a spider between the cheeks of my ass and was taken to a beautiful hotel by a beautiful man, were we swam in the pool and laughed in the sauna.
I felt God in my soul like never before and danced in the monsoon rain.
I wore bindis and saris and got groped in a silk shop. I drank gallons of sweet chai and watched bodies burning in Varanasi.
I fell in love with a blond on a beautiful island, we drank G and T's in our hammocks and kissed under the stars. I baked bread in my undies and made dhal and chappati's.
I watched endless beautiful sunsets with beautiful wonderful friends.
It truly was the best year of my life!!!!!
There has been so many wonderful moments this last year and I am so glad that my friend Emma told me to write this blog, I looked through some of it today and I laughed so much at some of the things I have done and seen and I know how fortunate I am to have had such an incredible journey and I'm so chuffed that so many of you have wanted to hear about it and it has been a joy to share it with you.
When I left England last January it is safe to say I was a mess. I boarded my flight drunk and completely off my tits. I had been out for days previously partying and getting wasted.
I was not happy for many months before I left, so many things had happened in 2011, horrible things and I was just drinking myself to death. It sounds exaggerated but as I look back now I can see that I really was in a very dark and dangerous place.
Going to India saved my life. You may think that that sounds over the top but I know how I was, how I felt and I am so grateful that I left England and everything that was happening in my life and I was given such a wonderful opportunity to look at my life and to work out what I wanted and to learn how to live in happiness.
I spent my last few days in India in the city of Mumbai. I was dead excited about visiting Mumbai and I wasn't disappointed. I arrived there on Christmas eve, I had travelled by train 15 hours from Goa. It was a beautiful journey. I boarded the train at 4.30am and watched the sunrise over the rice fields. It was the most glorious sunrise and the coconut palms looked so beautiful, just black silhouettes against the early morning sky.
I was gutted really that I had to say goodbye to India. India for me is the most special place, it is for me like heaven on earth.
I know some people think it is a dirty, busy, polluted place and it is in some parts but there is something magical about India, it is so rich in love and spirit, it gives me a feeling inside that I just haven't felt before in any other country.
A friend of mine said that INDIA stands for I'LL NEVER DO IT AGAIN!!!!
which is hilarious but to me that is so not true. I know I will be back packing across India for the rest of my days. I love it.
I arrived in Mumbai about 5pm and shared a taxi into Colaba with an English man I had met on the train and his 2 young daughters. It turned out that they were from Brighton, they lived just a few minutes walk from were I lived in the lanes.
Chatting away to them on the train was great, his daughters were so beautiful and all of the Indian people on the train just couldn't help but stare at them with their bright blue eyes and their long blond hair, they looked like angels.
Dave was running a charity in the Mumbai slums, he and his daughters lived there for a few weeks every year. He raises money in the UK and donates it to the families that live in the slums to improve their very basic living conditions . His daughters were obviously very proud of him, they were telling me over our sweet tea how their Daddy helped all the poor people of India.
The taxi dropped me off right behind the Taj Mahal Palace Hotel. I was stopping at the very humble Carlton Hotel. My room was nicer than I thought it would be and the sheets were clean so I felt very lucky. I un-packed, showered and then went for a little walk.
The Gateway Of India was only a 2 minute walk away, right in-front of the Taj Palace. It looked so beautiful all lit up in golden lights, it was dark but there were lots of people walking around, it was nice to walk along the sea front mingling with the other happy tourists and Indian families.
I wanted to find an Internet cafe so I could let everyone know I had arrived safely to Mumbai, the receptionist from The Carlton, Rama had told me that there was one just a couple of streets away so I headed in that direction. I noticed that a very tall skinny Indian man was behind me so I stopped walking and stepped in side a shop, but when I came back out he was still there watching me from the other side of the road. I then started walking and then he started following me again. I was a little scared, the horrific gang rape that had happened in Delhi a few days before had been all over the news and I was a little on edge. I stopped again and he stopped and as I started walking again he again followed behind.
I saw some young Indian's, girls and boys sat on mopeds at the side of the road, they were wearing uniforms, they looked like students. I went straight over to them and told them I was being followed, the boys bless them jumped up straight away and ran after the man that I pointed out to them but he was gone from sight. We were right outside the Taj Palace and one of the boys went over to the armed soldiers that guard the Taj Palace since the bombings and massacre that occurred there some years ago, to tell them what had happened.
They were all very kind and one of the soldiers even offered to escort me to and from the Internet shop, but the thought of being chaperoned through the streets of Mumbai with a soldier with his machine gun strapped to his chest was a bit too much so I said good night and went back to the safety of my room.
Christmas Day was one of the happiest I have ever had. You see I love my family very, very much but for some reason when you put us all in one room or house or even country at the same time some twat is bound to throw a wobbly and start an argument about something, so I have spent most of my Christmas's at the other side of the world from them all.
I decided to go along to the Krishna Temple, Chowpatty, Mumbai. It was a lovely day.
I sat through one of the lectures crossed legged on the floor with the Indian woman (I was the only western woman there) while the men sat on the opposite side of the temple hall. The speaker was humorous and I was glad it was in English.
We then joined in Ararti and were given beautiful fresh flowers, I placed mine in my book to press and keep. It was such a beautiful place and I just wondered around the temple taking photos and enjoying the peace.
I had gone to to India still wondering what religion I would follow but I returned knowing in my heart that the answer had been there for some time I just had to make those first brave steps.
I think the only way you can know what path is right for you, is how it makes you feel in your heart and standing there in the Krishna Temple and watching the devotees floating around in their saffron and peach robes and listening to the lectures and chanting I felt complete joy. I felt like I had come home, like I belonged and everything made sense.
A friend of mine Chris who is himself a Krishna devotee gave me a book "The Journey Home" as a gift before I left for India. It is an amazing book, it is an autobiography of an American swami. Well the Temple in Mumbai is the place where the author Swami Radanath resides, that is why I wanted to go there because the book inspired me so much. Unfortunately Radanath Swami was overseas but the visit was no less amazing.
I thought back to my life only a year before in England how I had woken up on Christmas morning still drunk and deeply depressed and how my life at that time was so full of hurt and pain and now here I was standing in the temple grounds surrounded by peace and love and people who were devoted to God. I felt so happy and I was sober and healthier than I had ever been. It was the best Christmas present ever to feel that peace.
I know you are probably thinking that OMG we are going to see Jacqueline galloping up and down the high street with her robes and her tambourine and you may think that is crazy but I have lived so many different lives, in so many different countries and cultures and with so many different men and I have found now what I was always looking for and I know that a spiritual life is the only life for me.
Leaving behind the alcohol and partying is not easy and now and again I get drawn into it and my friends have arranged a welcome home party for me and I know there will be alcohol involved but I know now what is important to me and I realised in India that Brighton is the place were I want to settle. I have so many wonderful spiritual friends there and the Krishna temple is right there by the sea and there are so many like minded people that want to break away from the materialistic way of life. I'm not saying the transition will be all plain sailing but I have lived a very wild existence and I'm ready for some peace.
Of course I miss India terribly but I will always travel to India and next year I want to do my Yoga teacher training there, but for the first time in my life I know where I want to be, I know what I want and the kind of relationship I deserve and I know I have to cut some ties with some people that can no longer be part of my new life and that is hard, but if you want to change your life for the better there is no point only changing your playground you have to change your playmates.
I had tears in my eyes as I boarded my flight from Mumbai to England but I also was happier than I had ever been in my life. I was at the end of the most amazing year of my life and of course that was sad but knowing what I want and where I want to live and what spiritual path I want to follow, having all of that knowledge keeps me strong.
I have been back now just a couple of weeks and things have been really good. I have spent time with my family who I love so much especially my niece who I missed more than I could have ever imagined...seeing her again was the best thing about coming home. I am so looking forward to getting to know my nephew who was only 6 months when I left.
I start work In February and hopefully will be moved down to Brighton within the next couple of months. I'm looking forward to summer by the sea and building a new happy life for myself.
Thank you all so much for reading my blog over the last year, I have enjoyed writing it so much and I hope you have had a giggle or two along the way.
I wish you all, what we all deserve, health, happiness and peace of heart
Happy New Year
Jacqueline x x x
Hare Krishna
